Work and live well, whole, and with courage.

10 affirmations to help recovering perfectionists

By Vanessa May / 23 January 2023

Sometimes we are unkind in the way we talk to ourselves. We hold up high ideals and expectations and when we struggle or fail to meet them, we can give ourselves an incredibly hard time whilst pretending to the outside world we’re fine. We wear a fixed smile that belies the truth of what’s going on. Perfectionism is one of the ways I can use to try and avoid my fear of being rejected. We…

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How your relationship to support impacts your progress

By Vanessa May / 16 January 2023

Over ten years ago I was in California on a leadership retreat. It was an experiential leadership training with the Coaches Training Institute and whilst I had done their coach training, I hadn’t fully understood the impact of learning in this way. I was used to academic learning. The pursuit of two different master’s degrees encouraged rationality and having a clear base of evidence. The professors were far more interested in defining the problem or…

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A photo taken above the clouds at sunset with text over it which reads approach your New Year's resolution with acceptance and challenge.

Approach your New Year’s resolution with acceptance and challenge

By Vanessa May / 09 January 2023

January is the season that many humans set goals for themselves. Perhaps you’ve set a work goal to get the promotion you want or find more purpose and meaning. Or maybe there’s a desire to be healthier and fitter or bring more mindfulness and compassion into your life. Whatever your New Year’s resolution or goal, the question that matters is the energy you bring to them. Sometimes we come from a place of frustration that…

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Sunlit trees covered in snow. With text over that says 'How to set up lasting intentions for the New Year.

How to set up lasting intentions for the New Year

By Vanessa May / 02 January 2023

Do you recognise this cycle? It’s New Year’s Eve and you’re full of excitement for the possibility of a new year. You imagine all the dreams and possibilities. Fuelled by the happy hormones of excitement you define your new year’s resolutions. This year will be different. You’re determined to make it happen. The first week in January you go all out. You push towards your goals, full of grit and energy. Two weeks into January…

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A calm country road at sunrise lined with trees. Serene and peaceful on the mind.

Can’t think clearly? Here’s 3 simple ways to create space in your mind

By Vanessa May / 05 December 2022

One reason clients hire coaches is because they’ve got a lot going on, they feel overwhelmed and notice they’re stuck and procrastinating, churning over the same thoughts in their minds. It’s part of our shared human experience to land in these tight spots where the pressure feels huge and we can’t seem to get any space or let up. It can show up in many ways but often there’s a question that seems unanswerable. Should…

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Lemons on a lemon tree in front of a clear blue sky

A simple strategy to deal with self blame and sabotage

By Vanessa May / 07 November 2022

Up until this year I’ve never really understood the phrase when life throws you lemons make lemonade. How do you make something sweet when it is naturally sour? Is it about appreciating and accepting the sour moments? This year has thrown me many challenges that have taken me way over the edges of my comfort zone into the panic zone. I’m talking challenges that I’ve never had to deal with before like health ones. What…

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How to get out of overwhelm

By Vanessa May / 19 April 2022

Overwhelmed by everyday things Kate is a character from the first chapter in the book I am writing.  She comes to coaching complaining of working long days and feeling emotionally drained.  In her mid-forties, she is at an age where her hormones are wreaking havoc on her and are impacting her quality of sleep. She relies on emotional labour in her work to get things done with conflicting stakeholders. At home she feels like she…

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Dare to let your inner critic out for the day.

By Vanessa May / 04 April 2022

Imagine you gave your inner critic full permission to say whatever the hell it wanted to during your day… You drop something, “ooh you stupid shit” You say something in a meeting, and a few people snigger, “ha, see what you’ve done now.  You’ve really shown yourself up. They think you’re dumb.” You don’t say anything in the same meeting, “what’s up with you? Everyone’s looking at you and you just sat there like you’re…

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Track your simple moments of everyday courage

By Vanessa May / 30 March 2022

I woke up this morning with a simple and clear message for myself. Stop asking “how can I help?” Start asking “what do you need?” I have been around this loop many times and I’ve nailed it with clients and colleagues but with my daughters it still can be hard.  There’s still a part of me that when I hear they’re hurt or having a hard time, I naturally want to step in and help…

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Make your second lockdown easier

By Vanessa May / 06 November 2020

Vanessa May · Make Your Second Lockdown Easier   We got through the first lockdown with cheers for the NHS and the knowledge that summer was on its way.  But now we’re heading for winter, days are darker and there’s the awareness that a clear end in sight is unlikely until a vaccine is available. So, how can we use this time to stay in our well-being and motivated? Let’s start with Locke & Latham’s…

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