Courage for career women blog

with Vanessa May

How to create your own support team

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Sometimes in life, we experience hard things. Sometimes when it hurts the tendency is to react by armouring up, being tough and going it alone. After all, you absolutely know that you can rely on yourself – but can you?  

Being fiercely independent and stoic can also mean that you’re in an echo chamber of your own fears, doubts and limiting beliefs.  

An emotional support team is made up of people you feel completely safe being yourself with. No matter what, they have your back and they believe in your resourcefulness. They don’t fix, rescue, scold or blame you when things go awry, or you are having a hard time. They just meet you where you are, knowing that you are creative, resourceful, and whole.

You might assume that your loved ones are your support team, and they may be, but they also may be too close or have an involvement that makes it hard for them to support you.


If you haven’t yet identified who’s on your support team, consider the following …


Take some time and reflect on the qualities that belong to people who make you feel safe.

What specifically do they do and not do?  

What’s the impact they have on you?  

What’s the agreements you have in place to lean into them when things are difficult?  

How have you articulated how you will be together?  

What are the ground rules?

How do you appreciate them?

Personally, I have found taking the time to answer these questions has helped me know who to go to for what and has saved me the heartache of going to people who mean well but unintentionally reinforcing old limiting beliefs that I am not enough as I am.

If you need further help to build your support team and to quiet limiting beliefs, connect with me for a complimentary coaching session.