I woke up this morning with a simple and clear message for myself.
Stop asking “how can I help?”
Start asking “what do you need?”
I have been around this loop many times and I’ve nailed it with clients and colleagues but with my daughters it still can be hard. There’s still a part of me that when I hear they’re hurt or having a hard time, I naturally want to step in and help them feel better. That kind of support is not the support they need.
I must remember that despite their challenge and their pain, they will survive it. They will learn and grow and increase their sense of personal agency and advocacy.
Courage in these moments is sitting back and allowing them to find their way whilst loving them through every step it from afar.
It’s courageous because it’s a different kind of support and it marks my respect for their resourcefulness and the transition I am making as a mother to crone.
Courage isn’t always about huge leaps. In this case it’s about letting go, keeping my heart fully open but not losing myself in their process or business. It’s about respecting their wholeness and becoming, and in turn, respecting my own.
I have been writing for three months about women finding their courage and the practices that help you to live an authentic life of conscious choice and intention.
I’d love to invite you to reflect on your own courage. Find and track your own courageous moments throughout your day. Whether it’s asking for emotional help, staying out of someone else’s business or making a bold decision, it doesn’t matter. There is no right answer because you are your own evaluator of your courage.
What courageous moments are you noticing in yourself today?
When you pay attention and find evidence of your courage you realise how it’s a muscle you already have. Sure, you may have not used it consciously in a while but tracking it will increase your awareness and you will start to see yourself and your courage differently.
Courage is a muscle. You have it. I know you do. Let’s increase your awareness in how you’re using it.