Worthy - How do I claim my space as a Woman in Leadership without being pushy?

How do I claim my space as a Woman in Leadership without being pushy?

It’s a question that shows up frequently in coaching sensitive, intuitive professional women.  These women have the smarts, they’re thoughtful and deep. They’ve climbed the ladder but they’re not fully claiming their space and leading.  They’re complying and fitting in and what makes it even harder for them is they know it. Often they’ve been given feedback that they need to speak up more and be visible.  Sometimes they’ve been told by a sponsor that they have great potential for a more senior role but they’re hesitant to put themselves out there and stuck. "How do I claim my space?" is a vital question to answer.

What makes claiming space hard?

Let’s flip it on its head and start with where they are.

The opposite of claiming your space is shrinking to fit in.  It comes from a belonging need and the limiting belief that I often hear expressed is, “What if I’m too much or they think I’m a bitch or too cocky?”

Worthy means that you have inherent intrinsic value and importance.  Feeling worthy enables us to reach out, claim our space, and have our needs met. When we fear are too much for others we hold back and shrink to belong but it’s a fake belonging because you’re not really being yourself, you’re complying to fit in.

Get beyond the mindset of needing to prove yourself.

Many women express the need to prove themselves worthy of having a seat at the table.   Carrying the belief that you need to prove yourself automatically puts yourself down.  Your attention goes to the skills you don’t have instead of the magic that you naturally possess.

And when it comes to leadership, it’s all about how you empower others.  Do you create the kind of environment that makes it ok for people to be themselves, express themselves, fail, learn, and grow?  If you feel you can’t claim your space, those around you will too and unconsciously you will reinforce a culture of compliance.

ambition - How do I claim my space as a Woman in Leadership without being pushy?

Ambition is not a dirty word.

Sometimes we carry with us a view that ambition is not a likeable quality. We associate with behaviours that we’ve seen where people step on each other, take actions at any cost to serve their own desires and use power over others to succeed.

 

Ambition is defined as "the strong desire to do or achieve something".  When ambition is coupled with purpose it gives us drive for something bigger.  Asking the question, “for the sake of what?” helps us to find healthy and purposeful striving.

Don’t assume you have to do it the way it’s been done before.

Most organisations want to thrive and know they need to innovate and stay ahead of the game.  Unfortunately for many women, they see workaholism is still valued over efficiency.  They look up to the role models above and think, “I don’t want that.”

Claiming your space as a leader means advocating for yourself.  Finding balance requires knowing yourself deeply and advocating for your needs.  It requires us to be aware of our energy; how we expend it and renew it.  Presenteeism and always-on cultures fly in the face of the research that informs us how to do our best work.  We are built for sprints, not daily ultra-marathons.

So, you came here to find out how to claim your space without being pushy and this is my question for you.

How can you give yourself permission to be the leader you want to see?

It all starts with permission.  Can you give yourself permission to know that you’re enough as you are and constantly learning and growing?  Can you give yourself permission to stop rejecting your authentic self to avoid the fear of others rejecting you?

Can you give yourself permission to feel your fear, embrace it and step in anyway? A simple practice is to check in with yourself and notice how you’re doing on giving yourself permission to create your own experience according to what you value for yourself.

How can you take responsibility for claiming your space as a leader?

When you’re self-empowered, you have choice.  From this place confidence and self-esteem rise and you can explore new possibilities.  Accepting that you are human, brilliant, and flawed is what helps you to follow your path because you know you won’t get it right all the time, but you will feel good being your own leader.

Waiting for the right time, the right moment is one way of avoiding responsibility.  And the thing about avoidance is that just creates delay and builds fear.  What if we’re all just waiting for you to step in and claim your space?  What if you knew you couldn’t fail?  Would that help you take responsibility for this one precious life you’re leading?

Ultimately there is no one-size-fits-all all answer to the question of how you claim your space as a leader.  The truth is it’s similar to how you learn to do anything like talk, walk or ride a bike.  You just begin, one step at a time and when you fall you celebrate yourself and get back up.

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